Smitten.

The first time I saw you, I knew I had to make my move. And I shamelessly did. 
I never expected you to reply me. 

but you did.  

When we met, your speech enraptured me, your cheekiness took me by positive surprise, & your smile bowled me over. You really are the best looking person I've laid my eyes on, and I told you on the first day itself that I couldn't believe I was sitting right next to you. 
Well, right now, I cant believe I'm actually blogging about you. 


Kieran, you interest me, you excite me and you intrigue me. 
Your methods are unconventional in the least, and I really am not used to them. Everything I've had before went too fast and burned out before anything good even happened. 
Honestly, I feel abit lost. I don't know what's the right pace, and I need you to guide me.

But you, the way you text me, the way you don't call me any names ("baby" at most) , you keep me at "friend" level. I really am still working with it, cause it makes me feel like you're pushing me into the friend-zone, though I know/hope it probably isn't. 

I'm someone who loves challenges, and you're a good one. You're a tease, and I adore that about you.  I mean I've been speaking to you for over a month now, and the only thing that runs through my mind sometimes, is, why me? 
But I cannot hide my fear, that you will lose all interest in me. But who doesn't have insecurities right? 

I'm the kind of guy that will lie with you in bed, push you off onto the floor and throw a million pillows at you, pull you back up & cuddle with you. & I'll do it all over again. 

I am intense, oh very intense when the need arrives & I thrive on the zest of reckless living. 

I like long hikes, cafes, writing, reading and most importantly, spending hours in the company of someone who makes you feel like their world just wouldn't  be the same without you. You already know what kind of a person I can be, and I want to be even more of that, with only you. 

You are precious to me, a gem I never thought I would ever find. I die inside everyday, cause I don't know if I'm good enough for you. I do want you, oh yes I do. But I won't say it, I won't admit it, till I know you feel the same way, the same degree of feeling, the same intensity.

You're complex, this knot of love I'd love to unravel. I swear, I'm here to stay in that knot, if you keep me in it. 
I give people what they deserve, nothing more & absolutely nothing else. 

Each time you say we can meet, I literally go straight to cloud nine but I always tell myself to play it cool, cause I dont want to creep you out. I feel my problems shushed to the back of my mind when I'm with you and I love hearing you out, and speaking with you. It's like this wave of joy that pervades me as an entity and I get incredibly shy and nervous. I start to stutter even, and then I play it cool and pretend I'm alright. HAHA

But recently, you've been having alot on your plate and yeah, I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that you wont be able to see me as much anymore. I know your workload is heavy, but I want you to know that I'll be right here with you okay? We will get through and emerge victorious, trudge forward! 
It's tough for me, because I would really love to spend more time with you. This is the period where we build trust and develop whatever we share.. 

But there is something bothering me, it's Nic. ( told u its #honestyhour )
Like who is he, I don't know what he's like and we both obviously know what his intentions are. Your years of friendship are more than sufficient to blow me away to China, so I guess i'm just uncomfortably uncertain. 

For you, it might be simple, but for the other party who doesn't know what goes on there,(or even right now as I type this at 1:23am), it's hard. I know I can trust you and I do, but c'mon if both of you are drunk and obviously unable to think straight, stuff might happen. And I'm afraid of that. 
Like, what if one of you loses self-control, and in all that intoxication, something happens? I feel like you should let him know, for if you lead him on, it might get weird. But, it entirely depends on you & I won't force anything.

You're my first, and your words still ring in my head. 
 " I wont make you regret your first time (: "

That's kind of why I wanted to see you today, I guess I got subconsciously pushed to meet you. And I'm sorry I made you feel bad. Well, I didn't tell you, but I cried abit on the train back. I felt very much lost & crushed, and I didnt know who to turn to. 
I'm very sorry for making you feel bad Kieran.

Well, I'm now afraid to show you what I've written cause I honestly don't know how you would perceive it. Whatever it is, I would like to say that you make me feel like I'm one in a million & you make me happy. You know just what to say each time & you never fail to make me quiver in anticipation, & you put me on an express train to the heaven in seconds whenever you kiss me. You're sexy, charming, sweet, witty & extremely sensual; traits that I really adore. You make me feel like everything else I had before, it was all just horrible mistakes & this is how it's supposed to be done. You know, they say the world was built for two, and if it were true, then I'd like to step out into the world, with you. 

Kieran, I want you to stay. 

"Hold me in your arms, 

love me like your best friends did,

Promise I won't hurt you kid,

Hold me really tight until the stars look big,

Never let me go. " 

-Lana Del Rey

Ah, we meet again.

SO. 2 months and 29 days have passed since my last post, and I'm probably going down in history as the actual worst blogger ever. While I swore to myself that this blog would never compromise of stuff from personal life , I think this situation would be an acceptable exception, & frankly, I need release and closure :(

I've been juggling school,  project work, exams, a discipline case, literally the worst break-up ever , & I also recently lost my grandmother a month ago. 

First, my school. Time management has never been my forte, but this time, I know I didn't even try to keep up with my work. Then came the last minute rushing, the swearing, the promise of no more procrastination and you know, the entire cycle. So somehow I managed to pull through, and I just received my results two weeks, not bad of a GPA, considering the insurmountable amount of slacking I did! The discipline case was minor, a fight in school, broke someone's jaw and got a black eye in return, but he deserved it. I got away scott-free cause I managed to prove that I really didn't instigate and initiate the exchange of blows! & he got suspended for an entire semester. HAHA. 

Then, my break-up. Well, it was like a dream relationship, like what everyone thinks it should be. People said good things came to people who waited, I waited a year, and I felt like God saved the best for me.

Constant loving texts; you could literally feel the love pour from your screen, onto your fingers, seep into your skin and give you a head-rush like no other.( we exchanged above 15'000 texts in 1.5 months, so go figure.) 

Constant assurance about the future; makes you feel like it's eternal and you've actually found the one. 

& before I realised it, I lost myself in time and fell into this abyss, a dark abyss I would later realise was called unrequited love. 

" saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky " - Ride//Lana Del Rey

The person, N, became the one reason for me to get out of bed and would often be the one thing that would tell me to relax and head to bed,  when I was too busy with studying & whatever. 

N was sweet, charming, playful and everything I wished I would find in someone. I kept up with all the mood swings and irritating moments, cause I knew how much I wanted N. Soon enough, we were together, and I cannot describe what it felt like to share what we shared. I found out that N couldn't stop thinking about the past, and try as I might, I couldn't change it. 

I loved N, oh yes I did.

& boy did it hurt, when I realised I wasn't as special, as to make the past go away.

If you're hung up over an ex, it's one thing to pretend it doesn't bother you, and its another thing to actually accept that they've moved on & that maybe, it's time for you to grow the fuck up and suck it up. 

Nevertheless, I learnt of this and saw everything once shared as a facade, a play to which I existed as an  add-on , just help you shine once more. Nothing more than a rebound. Well, the fact that it failed, as horrible as it is for me to say, is a condolence for me. I got hurt so bad, I feel like hurting you in any way, is good enough of a retort for me.

Things that are bad always taste nice. 

I know I shouldn't, but I feel like I deserve to be happy again. And if hurting you, like how you hurt me, gives me contempt, am I bad person? 

I loved N, I did, I did, I did. 

I begged, I cried, I begged even more. 

"don't you dare do this to me, you aren't allowed to leave me like that, not like this and not ever." 

I moved on, like the cold-hearted monster that I've always known I can become. I loved N too much to let go, but betrayal changes everything. 

It changes you, makes you doubt everything and everyone. But one thing didn't change, I know I have a lifetime of love to share, but now, no one to share it with. I have never expected much, never will. The things I will do to make someone smile, it knows no limits. 

And the only thing I want in return is, well, you. 

It's a new start!

IT'S 2013, ALREADY?!

A whole year has passed us, and I've had the best. I learnt to break out of my shell & chase my dreams the past year, to be daring enough to dive headfirst into the world of fashion. But I'm still learning, oh yes!

I've realized I need to MAKE things happen for me, not wait for someone to hand me golden opportunities. If anything, the world is full of opportunities, but only full to those willing to open their eyes and grab them before it's too late!

I hope I can inspire people who find themselves always on the fence to just.. GO FOR IT! I mean, what have you got to lose? Take the leap, & definitely, DEFINITELY, a safety net will be cast for you. Believe in yourselves!

With that, I wish all my readers a Happy New Year! Party hard!

" We don't eat during Fashion Week, we pretend to. " - Part 2

Part Two 

Marc-Antoine Barrois

These couturiers had an amazing collection, very very sleek pieces with sombre tones that upped the "glam" factor! Their oversized pieces were like a mash-up between Gucci's Spring '13 line and the Maison Martin Margiela x H&M collection , to die for! ( loving the shirt in the 6th picture! ) 

On Aura Tout Vu

FABULOUS CENTAURS. This collection was largely influenced by the love for transforming visions to visuals by the team and they did an amazing job with it. With huge flames, wild and hypnotic beats, along with a plethora of special effects, this show "stole the show" , even the press release gave me chills!                                      

     

     Once apon a time... a chimeric kingdom

Enchanted White, jewelled black, bright red exploded

Once apon a time...Queens

Of a flaming day, from magical past, from heroic future, with erupted beauty, which anarchic love, from oneric night,enigmatic rocker... Queen of our dreams

Once apon a time, On Aura Tout Vu

10 years, 20 collections.... an anniversary of fel en aiguille (from thread to needle)

 -The On Aura Tout Vu Press Release

One of the best shows, and a great end to Fide Fashion Weeks ! I think that this being held in Singapore, it has reiterated our place on the map as a true fashion haven. I really love how some of us really appreciated this occasion and attended it (even if not in full), and hats off to the fabulous Mr. Boey for putting together such an amazing event! 
-All photo credits go to fidefashionweeks.com ^^

Till the next post, here's me sending all my readers some love! 

" We don't eat during Fashion Week, we pretend to. " - Part 1

Fide Fashion Week, hosted at The Shoppes at the Marina Bay Sands late last month, was probably the highlight event 2012. Featuring dozens of designers, both aspiring and renown , old and young, Fide was an amazing platform for these talented maestros to showcase their work.

With the well-respected fashion editor Suze Menkes as the guest-of-honour, & the youthful and bubbly face of Style Network, Jeannie Mai, as the head correspondent , Fide Fashion Week was the epitome of all things French, Asian & Japanese Couture!
I managed to attend some shows, in-between my exams and soaked in the sights of some lovely couture pieces, have a look!

Thomas Wee

Stunning shades of burgundy, wine and chic black for his collection. It's effortless yet classy & one of Asia's Next Top Model's judges, the fabulous Mr. Danial Boey, loved the first look so much he tweaked it a little and pulled it off! But try as I might, I couldn't find a single photo on the Net of him :( MOVING ON NOW. 

Alexis Mabille 

Well known for his intricate and delicate designs, Alexis Mabille held true to his trademarks. The cohesive designs had Asian influences but still remained largely French, imbibed from his childhood days in Lyon, France ! Well, what else could we expect from someone who designed exquisite fine jewellery for John Galliano during his apprenticeship at Dior!

Julien Fournié

As you might've guessed from Mr. Julien's expressions, his latest collection has "FUN" written all over it ! Carefree and fabulous, his couture pieces steer away from safer, stereotypical darker hues and is interpreted in a different, more unique manner! 

Part Two will be up soon, till then! 

Street style ; infinite pleasure.

She's rocking it!

Casual Sunday stroll.

Neon? Psht, that's a breeze. 

Street style is fascinating.

Lana x H&M

LANA x H&M

Its been no secret that the Queen of alternative pop music has clawed her way to clinch the spot of becoming the new face of H&M AW'12 collection. Sharp cheekbones, rosy cheeks, dreamy eyes and with a lip-pout to remember , Lana embodies regality and fits the mould better than any other.

H&M envisioned " a modern and feminine woman with a soft attitude" for their AW12 line and I feel like Lana did way more than to just put her face on their brand, she took it up and made it hers. Each shot, and each article of clothing is very much, Lana Del Rey. Soft cashmere and tweed tops harmonised with pleather bottoms, what more could effortlessly insinuate her influence ?

Her music, is amazing. She filled the market gap with something we didn't notice was missing. She was fresh, yet there was something unique and vintage to her album. As I listened to Born To Die, & her new album, Born To Die: Paradise Edition ( she's one of the few artists I'd personally wait in a queue for ) , her soft and archaic vocals imbibed these feelings( & chills) I never knew I inhibited and she introduced different perspectives in which, I now, view and judge myself and other people. A very talented person, not only in her music, but in fashion too! Word has it, she was offered 5 modelling contracts within a month of her music video release of Video Games too! Way to go, LDR!  

 

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